I have always envied people who have unwavering faith. I do not. I am in a constant state of reading, questioning, and wondering why. Some people know what they know, and believe what they believe, period. There is no pondering or inner turmoil with people like this. They figured out what they believed early in their lives and then proceeded to get on with their lives with little or no change of course. These unshakable few seem blessed with a certain unruffled peace that I think must be the grace of God. They are not simpletons, they simply have a “peace that passes understanding”.

A long time ago, before my life in Corporate America, I worked with a guy who teased me about my neat and tidy desk. We shared a workspace and he was less than tidy. His theory was that a cluttered desk represented a neat mind and a neat desk represented a cluttered mind. I eschewed his theory : “One cannot think without a neat desk!”, I claimed. He grinned and said, “I rest my case”. How I envied him at that moment. He had no qualms, no worries, and all the freedom in the world to solve problems in his neat and tidy mind. While I secretly wondered if his mind was totally free from clutter, I found the idea intriguing. But I also thought to my very Presbyterian self that a neat desk makes a better impression on those above.

Is our goal as Christians to have neat desks? Or should we unburden our minds and let God do the thinking for us? I have always rejected this latter point of view, because it seems that a God who wants automatons with neat and tidy thought patterns could have simply created them, issued their orders, and sent them out to do His will. Maybe the clutter represents free will winning the battle. So a neat desk is the appearance of being in control on the outside, but having inner turmoil, and the people who trust God in all things can have a neat desk, a cluttered desk, or no desk, it does not really matter.

As a semi-reformed micro-manager, I can see the appeal of the “God is in control and we are all automatons” approach: make a rule, make everyone follow it, go home, repeat. But free will changes all of that. Free will, in corporate speak is more like complete autonomy. Managers know that complete autonomy is fun for the people but not good for the team. Enter “Trust but Verify”. I have always concluded that God gave us brains so we could use them. In other words, He trusts us. I think our hearts may be the “but Verify” part. In corporate speak we’d say: God is the brains of the operation, the Holy Spirit is the brawn, and Jesus is the people person. This triune would then be corporately known as a matrix organization.

I have worked for both matrix organizations and “chain of command” organizations. Chain of command is easier in a way, because all of the rules are well understood and you really don’t question authority, you just copy the one in charge every step of the way. The matrix method requires a little more effort: it requires relentless communication and collaboration by everyone at every level. Otherwise you get anarchy, or something resembling the Charlie Brown Christmas play. Linus would likely say that the matrix approach requires prayer and faith as foundational elements.

So back to my desk. I retired from Corporate America recently and left my squeaky clean desk behind. I set up shop in my study at home which has close to twenty five years of accumulated “stuff”. That plus my boxes from work have cluttered my desk more than I care to admit. But as I go through physical decluttering, I pause to look at the things I kept, and then discern what to toss or keep. This is what spiritual decluttering looks like, I think, lots of discernment. After I’m all done, I should have both a neat desk and an uncluttered mind. Wish me luck.

(lwr 10/09/2017)